Tuesday, September 22, 2009
depression ain't easy
Every day is a struggle. Last night when I went to bed I thought; gee, tomorrow I'm going to wake up, jump out of bed and begin my day! Yeah. Again, here it is; 5:45 a.m. the alarm goes off and I turn over hit the off button and go back to sleep. Just another 30 minutes; by the time I wake again 90 mimutes have gone by. Two hours later I finally wake up and get out of bed only because I have to go to the bathroom. I want to go back to bed but I know I will not be able to sleep; I am wishing I could so I won't have to face the day. Make some coffee; that will halp. Maybe I can get some things accomplished. My whole apartment is a mess. I feel completely overwhelmed. "You have to just start with one thing" I tell myself. One step at a time I remember. Drag your butt into the shower and get dressed first. Okay, here I go.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
....going out on a limb..........
This is my first post on being asian, female and depressed. Forgive me if I just ramble on.
We as asians can stick our heads into the sand for as long as we wish; but the plain truth is MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES do exsist; such as depression. Mental health issues cross all boarders, all races. It appears that everyone except asians have
accepted mental illness as something that can be treated and is a health issue.
I have been dealing with chronic depression for 25 years. The depression comes and it goes. If you were to ask anyone whom I work with if I was depressed, they would laugh. I hide it very well. It is when I am alone that my mind gets the better of me.
Psycho therapy is very helpful. I have been seeing a therapist on and off for the last 25 years. I also see a psychiatrist for monitoring of my medications. I am on 4 different medications.
There are times when things get a little too overwhelming for me and I will sink into a depressed state. I will just sit and stare at my room with no energy or intention to move. I don't return phone calls; go out with friends. I sleep a lot.
I have slept away a day before and I know I will probably do it again in the future.
I have been admitted to a mental health facility and had to stay a week because I was at risk for suicide. Yes, I've been down that road. In a way the mental health facility has a stigma attached to it; the "crazy house". I don't volunteer the information that I was a short term resident there; and I am kinda embarrassed to say so. I shouldn't feel that way. YES, I was the only asian there.
Hopefully I can be a little more organized in my thoughts later. Thanks for reading.
I really apologize if this post has no continuity;I'm just putting it out there.
Later, K
We as asians can stick our heads into the sand for as long as we wish; but the plain truth is MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES do exsist; such as depression. Mental health issues cross all boarders, all races. It appears that everyone except asians have
accepted mental illness as something that can be treated and is a health issue.
I have been dealing with chronic depression for 25 years. The depression comes and it goes. If you were to ask anyone whom I work with if I was depressed, they would laugh. I hide it very well. It is when I am alone that my mind gets the better of me.
Psycho therapy is very helpful. I have been seeing a therapist on and off for the last 25 years. I also see a psychiatrist for monitoring of my medications. I am on 4 different medications.
There are times when things get a little too overwhelming for me and I will sink into a depressed state. I will just sit and stare at my room with no energy or intention to move. I don't return phone calls; go out with friends. I sleep a lot.
I have slept away a day before and I know I will probably do it again in the future.
I have been admitted to a mental health facility and had to stay a week because I was at risk for suicide. Yes, I've been down that road. In a way the mental health facility has a stigma attached to it; the "crazy house". I don't volunteer the information that I was a short term resident there; and I am kinda embarrassed to say so. I shouldn't feel that way. YES, I was the only asian there.
Hopefully I can be a little more organized in my thoughts later. Thanks for reading.
I really apologize if this post has no continuity;I'm just putting it out there.
Later, K
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